Disney, the entertainment conglomerate known for children’s movies, by the way, now owns Lucasfilm (Disney paid $4.06 billion for the franchise in 2012, which is undoubtedly the reason for all the hype, hope and hoopla necessary to recoup their investment). Even I know George Lucas was the mastermind behind the Star Wars franchise that gave birth to enough prequels and sequels to constitute a litter of puerile pups with clumsy plot lines and cardboard characters who don’t know if they’re coming or going in any of the galaxies out there, far, far away.
Of course, fans don’t know if they’re coming or going either. The original trilogy from the 1970s and 1980s are known as episodes 4, 5, and 6. Huh? The prequels, episodes 1, 2, and 3, were released in 1999, 2002, and 2005 respectively. Even if I wanted to jump on the band wagon/space ship with Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens, where do I begin? Do I opt for Chronological Order (1,2,3,4,5,6), Release Order (4,5,6,1,2,3), or Machete Order (4,5,1,2,3,6)? Whittson Gordon, from Lifehacker.com, offers help for hapless heretics like me more impressed with alliteration than aliens. Or, catch Fran Capo, Guinness record holder for world’s fastest-talking woman recap the first six Star Wars movies (why?) via this link.
Who knew it would come to this? Disney knew; they’re banking on it (literally). After all, the hype may be the best part of Episode VII. I hope for the fans sake that the movie lives up to all the hype and hope and hoopla.
Meanwhile, I think we should move on; to say, Christmas, which premiers in less than a week (OMG!), with much of the same hope, hype and hoopla courtesy of commercialism.
If you’ve not yet perfected the art of re-gifting, the British comedian and host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver will set you straight with his usual dry satirical style.
Here's to merry and bright, to being a light in this time of darkness.