Today's post is not going to be your typical “thankful” litany of sanguine blessings so popular during this Thanksgiving week. That would be too predictable, boring and altogether out of character for me; at least for the 6th grader inside, my alter ego that without pretense or privilege won the “Funniest Girl” award a few years back (okay, more like decades and decades). It's just a shame my 15 minutes of fame came so early in life.
Jimmy and I can be there in time for dinner. Just point the way.
It’s back to my roots (although most are a far cry from their original color years ago). Damn propriety, damn growing old, damn the torpedoes! I know, I know; this is not the Battle of Mobile; it’s the battle of the bulge and all those fabulous family gatherings we both love and hate; gatherings full of tasty tradition and dangerous expectations. Thanksgiving is a day of butterballs, football, screwballs, goofballs, oddballs, the occasional curveball and sometimes even snowballs.
Here’s to having a ball on Thanksgiving, to all our blessings, sincere or otherwise; and of course, kudos to the chef.
Here’s to having a ball on Thanksgiving, to all our blessings, sincere or otherwise; and of course, kudos to the chef.
My grandson Grant is real good at scrambling eggs, too. Messes are his specialty.
I’ll be back on Monday. Meanwhile, don’t take yourself or your family too seriously! On the other hand, take your friends just the way they are. They represent the chosen few.
MY TOP TEN BLESSINGS THIS THANKSGIVING
1. I’m ever so thankful gluttony is considered an act of patriotism. The only thing I plan to take seriously tomorrow is my patriotic duty to relish this national holiday. Pass the cranberry sauce, please.
2. In that same vein, I am eternally grateful for Spanx and stretch pants. Both hide a multitude of sins.
3. It’s been such a blessing, my kids having kids. Overnight I went from moron to matriarch, an authority on a multitude of matters too mundane and numerous to list here.
4. Which reminds me; I’m so thankful for my dad. He’s been like a father to me all these years. Well, most of these years. He dropped the ball for a while after my parents’ divorce when I was 12, but he hung in there at his end of the court and waited patiently for me to get over my adolescent angst thirty years later.
5. With all my traveling (this is a travel blog, after all), I’m grateful for truly understanding that happiness is in the journey not the destination. That way once I get to where I’m going, I’m free to feel as miserable as I want.
6. Wow, I am truly blessed to have a really clean bill of health inside and out. Colonoscopies kick ass.
7. My dentist will be so proud of me for this one. Thanks Dr. Dentist for introducing me to floss. My gums thank you too. With tomorrow’s smorgasbord of food options and the propensity for said food to collect between my teeth, I can have my turkey, gravy, sweet potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, waldorf salad, pumpkin pie and eat it all too thanks to that thin thread of silk. Toothpicks are so old school.
8. Aren’t we all thankful the Presidential elections are over?
9. I’m so thankful for my therapist. Where else can I talk about myself non-stop without interruption? Well, I never thought about it before, but you do have a point. As blogees, you’re wonderful listeners. You never interrupt. You provide positive feedback from time to time, to keep my nonsense going. Maybe it's time to give up my therapist. Wow, my first
breakthrough in years! Thank you, thank you, thank you my loyal and faithful blogees; thank you for being there for me.
10. I know this last one is a bit random, but I’m ever grateful for crop circles. There is so little magic and mystery (and I just love all the symmetry, too) left in this world now that Wikipedia has all the answers. They’re off the mark on this one. Aliens – I know it’s the work of aliens. They're here! I hope they like turkey.
Take us to your leader.
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