PYRAMIDS, PANHANDLERS & POLITICS

The oldest and largest of the Giza Pyramids was built by the 4th-Dynasty king, Khufu (2589-66 BC).

I have two enduring memories of my visit to Egypt's famed Giza Pyramids.

The first runs along the line of, OMG! I’m actually standing at the foot of a 5,000-year-old burial chamber, the oldest, largest, most amazingly mathematical and astrological stone building ever made, the only Wonder of the original Seven Wonders of the Ancient World to have survived the test of time.  Holy Pharaoh!  This has been a dream come true.

The second memory was more along the lines of, Holy Pharaoh, you want how much money for roping Jimmy and me into an awesome shot of the two of us atop your camels in front of this ancient wonder?  Talk about nightmares! 

That's my hat Jimmy is wearing. I'm flaunting a turban courtesy of our friendly Egyptian camel jockey.

We'd been warned; same as anybody who's ever been ticketed for speeding seconds after barreling into a school zone with the posted speed limit signs flashing.  It's all a blur now, officer.

There was this guy;

Friendly fellow working his charms. Notice he already has a hold on Jimmy.

a very friendly fellow with enough panache  and savoir fare to qualify as Lawrence of Arabia. 

Jimmy lost more than his hat in this exchange.

My furtive glance at the armed guard that had accompanied our tour group suggested Jimmy and I were on our own.    

Tensions in the Middle East are as real as that automatic our guard was packing.

A second friendly fellow waiting in the wings moved in to help first-friendly fellow escort us to their nearby camels.  Up we went in a matter of seconds (undoubtedly just like the mummified pharaohs awaiting divine ascension once inside their pyramids), poised for heavenly pictures beside the Great Pyramid of Giza.

What just happened?

Jimmy going along for the ride.

Encouraged by said friendly fellows, I relinquished my camera rather than rely on our usual selfie.   Second-friendly fellow started snapping pictures, pictures that weren't bad; undoubtedly he'd had a lot of experience.

Jimmy and I warming up to the idea of a photo op.

With a few pointers from the director of this mercenary mishap, first-friendly fellow, Jimmy and I smiled and gave a wave to posterity and to our five minutes of fame as if this had been our intention all along. Never mind our free camel ride, part of our tour package, was just around the corner, as in just around the next pyramid.  

You can't even tell we're about to be swindled.

Fame is so overrated; the price is inevitably much more than most of us ever imagined we'd have to pay.

“One hundred American dollars!” first-friendly fellow demanded in a decidedly less than friendly tone once Jimmy and I were back on our own two feet. 

Way beyond my imagination! Either we looked terribly rich or terribly naive.  You decide.  Perhaps gullible is the shoe that fits.   

Jimmy’s face turned as stony as the pyramid that had precipitated our dilemma.

Twenty years and a workforce of twenty thousand went into constructing King Khufu's tomb.

Jimmy directed me to head back to the bus while he continued negotiations. For once I played the dutiful wife and did as I was told!  I may be gullible, but I’m not stupid. 

I sat on the bus, camera in hand (thankfully negotiations did not include my camera), sifting through the images of my once-in-a-lifetime visit to Egypt’s Giza 

Pyramids while Jimmy sifted through the cultural maze of diplomacy in a foreign country.   

Forty dollars later Jimmy returned to the bus.  

All in all, not a bad price for successful negotiations that included the safe return of my diplomat, especially given all the tensions in the Middle East.  

Eat your heart out John Kerry.