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HEAVEN HELP US

5/5/2016

 
“Maybe it’s a message from God.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes before countering with a request.

“Did you bring headphones?”

“Sorry,” I offered with sincerity. 

My husband got up from his seat and made his way to the back of the plane for a few minutes of peace and quiet via a bathroom break.

“Just politely ask him to stop,” I whispered from across the aisle when he returned. 

I was sitting pretty, as in an aisle seat across from my beloved, who’d snagged his own aisle seat, too, on a recent Southwest flight (for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, it’s open seating on all Southwest flights) to Denver from Chicago.  Only the middle seat next to me was empty.  Jimmy hadn’t fared as well.
​
And to add insult to injury, the guy in the middle seat added an entirely new dimension to annoying for the duration of the flight.  
We’ve all had our share of annoying when it comes to planes and passengers.  I once flew Southwest from Chicago to Denver with Chatty Cathy in the middle seat, me stuck in the window seat.  I’d reached the end of all small talk by the time we hit airspace over Nebraska.  CC had moved past small talk and was well into her life story when the woman in the seat in front of us turned around and asked CC if she could lower her voice. 

CC looked at me and whispered, “Whaaaaaat the . . . ?”

The alcohol she’d been throwing down for the last 900 miles had obviously done due diligence on the parts of her brain controlling speech, judgment, and impulsive behavior. 

I shrugged my shoulders and made an elaborate show of going back to reading my book in a last ditch effort to secure some peace and quiet of my own. CC simply turned to the guy on her right and never missed a beat, or should I say syllable.

Note to self – remember the headphones!
​
According to an online poll on the topic by Expedia, most passengers simply let the annoying behavior of fellow passengers slide. Of the 1,091 polled last November, 10% said they’d secretly recorded the offender on their phone (did that!); 3% said they’d shamed them on social media (doing that as we speak!); 21% admitted they’d asked the person to stop (Jimmy did try the direct approach). 
Picture
The Middle Man.
There was no letting this slide.  Maybe the guy had issues when it came to flying.  Maybe the guy was a religious zealot.  For sure it was a message from God; many messages from God.  Middle Man read the Bible OUT LOUD for 130 minutes, the duration of the flight.  The messages from God were coming fast and furious.  Only according to Jimmy, the messages were garbled.  Aren't they always garbled?

“Between the cabin noise and his mumbling as he read through the entire Book of Timothy, I could only catch a word here and there; Christ Jesus, sinners, faith, mercy.”

“You asked him to stop?” I queried, incredulous the annoying behavior had gone on for so long.

“When I asked,” Jimmy replied,” he came back with, ‘reading aloud helps me remember the bible verses.’ "

Holy hypocrisy! 

“He also said nobody has ever complained before.”
​

Heaven help us!   

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Joan
5/5/2016 04:02:06 pm

Oh my, this is a new one on me. Sorry Jim. Those ear plugs or headphones better go into your carry on bag ASAP.

Sherry
5/5/2016 10:42:13 pm

Yes, this was a first. Definitely have to keep the headphones handy.

Diane link
5/5/2016 06:33:26 pm

Poor Jim. Well, we told you two to stop with the Southwest thing!

Sherry
5/5/2016 10:43:14 pm

Imagine if the seats were assigned and he had to remain next to Middle Man. At least he was able to change seats.


Comments are closed.

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