7 REASONS TO KISS IRELAND'S BLARNEY STONE

I’ve kissed my share of frogs in my time; sealed a few letters with a kiss over the years, too; but never in my lifetime (that is until my recent trip to Ireland) have I had the chance to bend over backwards and kiss the Blarney Stone (it was a dizzying experience!).

Not my best side when it comes to pictures.

I know you’re itching to ask the obvious. What’s all this baloney about blarney, anyway?  

I’m so glad you asked. Okay, maybe you didn’t ask, but can you work with me? Maybe it’s baloney, maybe it’s blarney*, but after kissing the Blarney Stone, I’ve come up with not one reason to make the trek to Cork, Ireland, but SEVEN REASONS TO KISS IRELAND'S BLARNEY STONE.  You decide if it’s baloney or blarney.

*Baloney is when you tell a 50 year old woman she looks 18.  Blarney is when you ask a woman how old she is because you want to know at what age women are most beautiful.  According to Irish politician John O’Connor Power, ‘blarney is something more than mere flattery. It is flattery sweetened by humor and flavored by wit.’

1. THE GIFT OF ELOQUENCE

This would be the most popular reason for planting a wet one on a particular block of bluestone at Blarney Castle; the gift of gab.  Who am I to question the Irish or their customs?  
Their sincerity is matched only by their propensity for blarney.  

What can I say?  You can’t fight tradition.    

2.    EVERYBODY IS DOING IT

Blessedly, the weather was sunny rather than rainy the day of our visit.

I know, that line about everybody is doing it (400,000 a year, according to the latest figures) might not work with your mother, but it works with me, a mother of five (three biological, two inherited).  It’s not like anybody is jumping off a bridge.  Dozens of people prepared to pucker were queued along the parapet the day I was there (about eleven hundred pucker up each day); they looked ready and willing to throw caution (and a kiss) to the wind.  
 
Don’t think about the number of people who have already slobbered all over the Blarney Stone (my sources tell me the stone is sanitized several times an hour).  Don’t think about falling 100 feet to your death. Just step up to the plate, or rather the stone, take a deep breath, and  feel the rush (that would be the blood rushing to your head) as you lean back, grab the rails, and reach for this pinnacle of your life experiences.  

Besides, the mileage you’ll earn from this single kiss, along with, of course, your eloquence in retelling the story, will bring you a lifetime of notoriety.  

3.  DUH! THE STONE IS PART OF A MEDIEVAL CASTLE OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

Along the east side of the castle is an 18th century mansion build by the Jefferies, called "The Court".

I don’t know about you, but I’m not turning down the chance to see a 500-year-old castle.  Kissing the Blarney Stone is just the icing on the cake; I mean castle. It was a pretty impressive castle, too.  From the winding stairs (an architectural must when it comes to a true
castle),

Much easier going down rather than up.

to the huge battlements, where the infamous stone surrounding all that blarney was placed in 1314, the MacCarthy Clan had seen to every impressive detail.

Does hitting this battlement with cannon fire mean a bullseye?

Cormic Laidir (the Strong) MacCarthy, gets most of the credit for today’s castle ruins.

The blarney is even in the architecture. The walls of the castle gradually slope inward to give the castle a very imposing appearance.

The castle was built sometime in the 1480s, reputedly by Cormac Laidir, Lord of Muskerry.  It was preceded by a wooden castle dating back to the tenth century.  Two centuries later, around 1210, a stone fortification replaced the original wooden structure.  Laidir was probably the first occupant and Lord of the castle to today's structure. He was slain by his brother Eoghan in 1495, who was in turn killed and succeeded by Cormac’s son, Cormac Og, in 1498.  And I thought my family was dysfunctional.

Cormac Laidir certainly set out to impress the fiefdom with his new digs, all four stories as well as the battlement at the top.  

I gotta hand it to him; the arched doorways were a nice touch.     

I wore my royal blue for today's visit.

And all those windows made the place feel so . . . well, so less medieval, 

Light and airy, just the way a castle should be.

although the windows that came with metal bars did remind me a tad of Dublin's Kilmainham Gaol.  Some bars are for keeping people in; others are for keeping people out.

Light and airy could quickly go to damp and chilly with Ireland's wet weather.

Cormac Laidir really went all out with the magnificent Banquet Hall!  Let’s just say the  McCarthy’s propensity for extravagant feasts was as legendary as their family feuds.   

The 4-story banquet hall was originally covered with a wooden roof.

Wow; makes medieval look magnificent.

The hallways were a bit narrow, but I supposed if I were worried about armies pillaging and plundering I’d make the passageways narrow too.  Much easier to kill one intruder at a time.

Jimmy paved a nice pathway for me.

Cormac even had the presence of mind to include underground passageways for making an escape in the event his castle was broached.  Alas, the inevitable occurred for Cormac’s descendent, Cormac MacDermod, during the Nine Years War (1594-1603), when the native Gaelic aristocracy, of which he was a part, came together in open defiance of the English Crown.

That defiance was not looked upon favorable by Queen Elizabeth I. Sir Cormac’s efforts to appease both sides with his ability to play one side off the other may have allowed the word ‘Blarney’ to pass into modern speech (that is his smoothly flattering and cajoling talk), but it did little to prevent the Queen (she reported said she was tired of all the Blarney) from eventually sending Lord Broghill, General to Oliver Cromwell, to attack Blarney Castle.  Broghill destroyed the tower walls with gunfire and stormed Blarney  Castle only to discover MacDermod had escaped via the underground passages called Badger’s Caves.  

They went that-a-way!

4.  THINK OF ALL THE HISTORY YOU’LL BE INSPIRED TO LEARN 

Jimmy getting puckered and tuckered.

Rodney smacking the stone.

That Blarney kiss sealed the deal for me, Jimmy and my brother-in-law, Rod.  My sister Lynda took a pass.  She rarely needs inspiration when it comes to most subjects, especially our family history.  Her creativity is excelled only by her eloquence.  I should be so gifted.

Lynda was one of the prettiest flowers in the gardens.

Kissing that stone was like falling in love.  Suddenly I couldn’t get enough of all things Blarney, past and present.  And speaking of Blarney, here’s my spin all that magnificent history.

Standing proudly in the 21st century, this remnant of the past depicts the beauty and mystery  behind the bare bones of civilization; the dates, the places, the people, the battles. Not since Indiana Jones stepped away from his desk and onto the silver screen has history spoken so loudly and provocatively.  
 
I fall in love time and time again with mankind’s story at each new destination.  After all, it’s really my story, too.  

5. THE VIEW IS MAGNIFICENT  

The Emerald Isle sporting summer green.

Eat your heart out Barbara Walters.  'The View’ atop Blarney Castle offers so much more than a syndicated television show featuring four women who don’t seem to know the difference  between the  gift of gab and the gift of eloquence.

6.  THE BLARNEY STONE IS JUST ONE OF MANY ATTRACTIONS

Sixty plus acres of gardens and woodlands made kissing the Blarney Stone a faded memory after strolling the grounds for several hours.  We enjoyed the Poison Garden,

Home to medieval soothsayers.

It looked so peaceful rather than deadly.

the Fern Garden,

Where time twists and turns like a Mobius strip.

the Irish Garden, and the Bog Garden. There was even a lake, an ideal spot for a picnic.  It was apparently the ideal spot for hiding family treasures back in the day.  Word on the street, or the arboretum, is one family member a few generations later drained most of the lake looking for those treasures.

No wonder the MacCarthys didn't want to give up the land.

My favorite spot was the one occupied by a very large Thuja plicata, a 100-year-old Western Red Cedar.  For obvious reasons, it's one of the most photographed trees in the arboretum.

I hope I look this majestic when I reach 100.

This castle looked at least one hundred years old, too.  The Blarney House is a private  residence on the estate.  It’s open  for tours during the summer, but with time and money running short (besides, no pictures allowed inside), Lynda, Rod, Jim and I passed on the lifestyles of the rich and famous.  One castle a day was all we could handle.

Had it been Downtown Abbey, I'd have found the time for a tour.

7.  EXERCISING YOUR MIND AND BODY NEVER FELT SO GOOD

Jimmy doesn't look any worse for wear as we headed up to the top.

Hiking up four flights of stairs to kiss the Blarney Stone is definitely the cardio portion of a wonderful workout.  Stroll the grounds first if you’re in need of a warm up physically or  mentally when considering the challenge ahead, but do remember, approximately eleven hundred people make their way to the top each day to kiss the Blarney Stone.  The lines can get very long, the wait even longer.

This is not the place for spectator sports.  

I kept trying to find that window just below the Blarney Stone. Great spot for pictures.

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THE BOTTOM LINE ON BLARNEY CASTLE:

Verdict:  No baloney; this was a once in a life-time experience I thoroughly enjoyed.  Our visit offered a castle with clout and a kiss with kick.  No blarney, Winston Churchill kissed the Blarney Stone.  Maybe that's how he overcame his stutter. 

How to Get There:  Once you get to Ireland, head to Cork in the southwest province of Munster.  Blarney is 8 km northwest of Cork.  Buses run frequently from the Cork bus station (adult/child €3.30/2).  Summer hours are 9 to 5:30; the last admission to the castle is 30 minutes before closing.  Admission is 12 euros for adults, 10 euros for seniors, children 8-14 get in for 5 euros.  Family admission is 30 euros, 2 adults, 2 children. 

Insider Information:  Credit cards are not accepted, except for large groups.  The gardener for the Blarney Estate will answer questions online via the Blarney Castle website if something peeks your interest.  Obviously, get thee to the castle early.  I was fifth in line for kissing the Blarney Stone. When things get crazy, I'm told the line runs down the winding stars and out the castle.  No way to spend the day in such a beautiful location. 

Nearby Food:  We ate sandwiches and chips inside what was once the stable area for the estate.  The food and drinks were enough to keep us on our feet and our thirst quenched.